Can I give you some feedback? (Part 1 - Before the session)
For many, the phrase ‘Can I offer you some feedback?’ is the brain’s equivalent of footsteps in the night and our flight or fight response is activated. One survey of more than 7000 leaders found 44% of participants found giving feedback stressful or difficult. Are you one of them?
Modern leaders offer feedback on the great things being done and don’t just focus on areas needing improvement. Instead of giving feedback in a formal session once a year, find opportunities to give and receive feedback on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
Questions to consider before the feedback session
In preparation for giving someone feedback, ask yourself -
What is going on for the other person?
What challenges are they facing? What is going well for them?
What might the person be feeling anxious about ahead of this conversation?
What support could they need to overcome any challenges they are having?
What blind spots do you perceive they have which may impact how they hear this feedback?
What is going on for you?
What do I have happening now which might impact this conversation?
Am I feeling distracted? Stressed? Angry? Should reschedule the feedback conversation as a result?
What might trigger me in this conversation?
How might my relationship with this person impact the feedback you give?
What is the key message I want to communicate?
What do I specifically want to mention, and why?
Do I have examples (both positive or problematic) to offer them?
What questions can I ask to help guide the person towards the feedback and uncover a solution themselves?
Think about the logistics of how and where the meeting will take place.
How do you plan to meet? Will it be in person or virtual? Where possible, avoid email; providing feedback by email has been shown to be far less successful than meeting in person.
Have you scheduled a time for the feedback conversation rather than catching them at an informal moment?
Have you allowed enough time for the other person to prepare for the meeting?
Next week’s newsletter will cover steps to consider during the feedback session.
What questions will you ask next time you prepare to offer someone feedback?